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"H, I won't let you steal my soul because you irresponsibly gambled yours away."

-J, 10:07am 8/24/14

"N, I told you, I'm going to pee on your head if you don't get up."

-R 7:07am, 8/25/14

"I definitely just ran into the screen door."

-A 8:05pm, 8/24/14

"Dad, I know your beard is beautiful, but it smells like cow poop."

-L

"We sssssssshhhhhhhould...let the animals go"

-E, 1:42pm 8/24/14

"So H, you're a pretty relentlessly positive person eh?"

-J 8:02am, 8/24/14

"Love puddle?!? I SAID LOVE BUBBLE!"

-H 7:10pm, 8/23/14

"I feel like an asshole doing that kind of shit, but, you know what? YOLO."

-A

"Good morning darling, would you like a nougat-like cookie for breakfast?"

-J said to S, 11:07am 8/23/14

"I'm everyone's favorite, I'm interested in everything and nothing all at once."

-E 12:25am 8/23/14

"Really? Ibuprofen eh? I need to add that to my alcoholic lexicon!"

-N 9:48pm 8/22/14

"If you're not making the world a better place, you should have been a blow job."

-M 7:27pm 8/10/2014

"Cats are not clothing!"

-R, 4:34pm 8/9/14

"Whoa, there are three pieces of bread in this sandwich; WHAT ARE PEOPLE DOING?!?"

-D, 12:27pm 8/6/14

"I've never retreated before, I don't know how it works..."

-S

8:52pm 8/5/14

I hear with my little ears...

...a child telling an extremely racist joke in the grocery store :/

...his parents just laughed and gave him the, "boys will be boys" nudge.

*sigh*

"This is amazing, I feel like I'm in a boobie sweater!"

-H 10:50pm 7/19/2014

"I wish people would open their eyes to how misogynistic our society is...men are still making choices for women."

- said by an extremely passionate man

7:20pm 7/17/2014

"...That's like a vegan circle jerk."

-S: "What are you doing?

-H: "Watching videos of rescued farm animals."

-S: "Soooo...you're just sitting around watching videos of rescued farm animals walking around?"

-H: "Yup."

-S: "That's like a vegan circle jerk."


BAHAHAHAHAHA. What wisdom.

"That's like pulling out a recorder when you're getting mugged."

-J 8:55pm 7/6/2014

Pool exchange 7/2/2014

H: "Wow, you rub sunscreen in so gently!"

R: "You have to put it in gently, otherwise it doesn't go in."

H: "OMG!!!!!!!!! Not to mention, who refers to rubbing in sunscreen as 'puttin it in'?!?!?! HAHAHAHA"

R: "HA! I didn't even realize that was dirty until I put it in."

H: "BAHAHAHA..."

R: "HAHA!"

Fun times at the Law School pool.

"That's how it happens, you get drawn into a moment and then something profound happens."

-D 7:34pm on 6/30/2014

"So, you know what twerking is, right Gogo?"

-S, at 5:08pm 06/29/2014

S said this to my mom, her grandma, it was golden.

"You've got tore up Toms and you're eating a pickle...YOURE SO DAMNED WHITE RIGHT NOW!"

A. 6/20/2014 at 7:11pm

For the record, the pickle was frozen.

"We need a new word for this situation...'well intended stalking.'"

S. 6/20/2014 4:38pm

"...I am just kind of pissed because the world is a fucking beautiful place."

-H. 6/19/2014 at 6:45pm



S: "You seem down, whats up?"

H: "I'm fine. I just finished watching a happy, but sad, but happy documentary."

S: "So...you watched a sad documentary and are now a little down?"

H: "No. It was a wonderful documentary and now I am just kind of pissed because the world is a fucking beautiful place."

S: "Haha..."

"Whatever you call God, live with it, cuddle with it."

Heard on lightrail 6/19/2014 at 4:07pm

An older woman monologging to no one. The strangers surrounding her eagerly trying to ignore her and look the other way. Her voice is calm, smooth, and matter of fact. Her thin white hair is delicately gathered into a bun a top her head. Her clothes carefully ironed and shoes without a smudge. It is hard not to be odly comforted by her sporadic statements. It sounds like she is a well seasoned anchorwoman reading snip-it's from an old news reel.

"And how were they killed? By airplanes, without the fear of flying."

"Useless and vulgar, empty. It's a fact of life."

"And that's the size of this thing *long pause* women against women."

"A one cow country and a sleepy widow with a temper."

"I hear it's a unique thing, modern high tech. When you grab ahold of it, it has your name on it."

"The color purple; after all, I'm the richest woman in America."

And just like that she is gone. A misunderstood traveler off to catch a bus; her words to be ignored by  the strangers she encounters. I bid you farewell and good luck, traveler.

"I just saw two flight attendants fist bump!"

-M. 6/18/2014 8:18pm

"M.B. called me a cunt because I didn't see Wall-E in theaters...it was still playing in theaters at the time."

-M. 6/14/2014

"GOD! I just want to headbutt that jerk in the crotch! Not even in the good way!"

-Stated with much vigor by an unknown angry woman 6/13/2014

"Not THIS Nut Burger!"

-T. 6/9/2014 at Capitol Garage

"BONERS; it's a funny word."

-P. 6/9/2014 at Capitol Garage

"That's my philosophy in life...fuck boundaries and limitations."

-M. 6/4/2014

"Tell S. that Rebel scaled you like a mountain goat!"

-M. 1/2/2014